My pursue on Repentence stuff from NAK, Yassir Qadhi and a bit of Tariq Ramadan


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today I want to write things about repentance. I have written post about it but the intention to write more about it is increase lately.

I watch Nouman Ali Khan about move on after commiting sins. It talks about prophet Musa ‘alaihissalam.

the story of prophet Musa, when he committed sin and at that time he hasn’t become a prophet. Al Quran surat al Qashash ayat 15;17

“And he entered the city at a time when its people were not watching: and he found there two men fighting,- one of his own religion, and the other, of his foes. Now the man of his own religion appealed to him against his foe, and Musa struck him with his fist and made an end of him. He said: “This is a work of Evil (Satan): for he is an enemy that manifestly misleads!”

He prayed: “O my Lord! I have indeed wronged my soul! Do Thou then forgive me!” So (Allah) forgave him: for He is the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

He said: “O my Lord! For that Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace on me,”

. . .
He killed and egyptian and then sincerely ask forgiveness to Allah. And Allah directly forgive him after he sincerely confess and ask forgiveness to him.

Well, now I am going to write some of NAK words from the video. This is what I got from NAK:

Tow to know that you are forgiven?

That is not the question, the question is that:
was my seeking of apology to Allah is sincere enough? Because if it is since you are going to be forgiven

Propeht Musa says:
Master because of the favor you do to me, I’ll back for being a criminal again 
(The English translation of Quran I use is slightly different with the translation of NAK use, I mean the wordings)

Now what favour that prophet Musa talk about? It is the favour that Allah has forgiven him. Then how to know that Allah has forgive you? If you are a sincere believer, you dont need to wait for the revelation to make you know that you are forgiven. You just know it, as the matter of fact.

then you have to face the people around, dealing with the consequences? yes, sure. But you have the forgiveness of Allah with you that makes dealing with the people easy.”

in the video of Yassir Qadhi I found that by doing repentance is that an inevitable because we human sin every day. Satan try to deceive us and says that “No way, you are hopeless, Allah wont accept your repentance” and we continue to commit the same sins. It is insulting to Allah. Why? Because first, this mean two things: you are doubting that Allah have mercy that are unlimited. Secondly, it shows the sign of desperate where we know that only the disbeliever that are desperate to Allah’s mercy.

Then how we commit sins and it was happen again and again? Like a  addictive sins. When we in our conscious that that is wrong but then our weaknesses made we slip off and the we committed sins. Then we feel afraid you Allah and we made taubat because we believe that Allah is Arrahim. Is that the sign of iman or is it hypocrisy?

Yassir Qadhi respond it in two ways:

as being a true believer we shall believe all the name and the atribute of Allah. That Allah is Arrahman. A true believer when committing sins, he feels very guilty in the back of his mind and says  “O Allah, I have committed sin. I know you are Arrahman, please forgive me. that that is the sign of Iman. Submission and feeling guilty is the sign of iman.

“O. Allah is Rahman, Allah is Ghafur. he is going to forgive me anyway. huh.” This is not the submission that is wrong. This is the arrogance that is wrong. If in your psychogy is the confident and arrogance. This is the sign of hypocrisy.

In another lecture, I forget that is it NAK or Yassir Qadhy, the sign of iman has sipped to your heart is that you see a betterment in your self and the people around you. Because iman is contagious. It spread to others human hearts.

Back to the how to be a good person after repentence.
I got an amazing solution by Tariq Ramadan. “Do concentrate on what good you can do, not to what bad you can be.”

here is the prescription. Do the good that we can do. Because we are going no where if we are concentrating on what bad we can be or what where are not good in, right?

And how to stay humble and not boasting after doing good things? I presume there is kind of afraid to be praised by human. And it is sometime make us reluctand to  ‘commit’ another good deeds. There is the answer of nouman ali khan “Never judge your self as what people judge you. Don’t see your self that good when people judge you good. Allah know you best” Wait, then I shall perceive my self bad as what sins I have commited in the past? Nope. Nouman Ali Khan also have the second prescripsion “Never let the judge of people make you agree that you are hopeless and cannot be better, because Allah never close the door to those who want to back to him.”

. . .

Thanks for reading guys 😀

#selfrimender #repentence


time to have more time with the book


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Now I am a housewife, and I have plenty of time to read actually. Yet, lately I have very view interaction with words. Nope, not because of my husband forbid me, he does provide me many books to read. 😀

I was reading a good post in whatsApp lately. It said that lack of brain excersice makes people more vulnurable to senility. And I scream in silent “Hiy..” I has been around couple of months I guess, I do not read or listen to such ‘heavy’ ideas. Even if so, it is so view and not that many. I don’t think the amount of my exposure to a ideas that can exercise my mind that much.

I have plenty of time, I am not yet utilized it to the fullest. Seeing for a busy man perspective, he or she would be very angry seeing me wasting my time exept for doing house hold chores. If I calculate it detailly I have many time to make my brain exercised and make it stronger and stronger. “Brain is like a knife, that can be dull if it is not sharpened. And the way to sharpen it is by thinking.” That is what I got after reading Sensei Edi Syukur in a telegram group.

Now, the fact that senily and the dull of the brain are strong enough to make me move from this ‘silent’ status quo.

Anyway, I read books, you will be amazed. I read novels! 😀 I have finish “Ayah” by Andrea Hirata in November, and I start reading “Negeri Para bedebah” by Tere Liye on this December. What?? Nurul Huda read Tere Liye’s? In the past, I choose not to read Tere Liye’s coz I thought the pieces he created were just so called not-in-line with the hard line of Nurul Huda’s taste. You know, I prefer the heavy wide range philosphical book. Even if I was looking for the value of life, I would directly go to real motivational book, rather that ‘scavanged’ it from a long boring story of Novels. Take “Serial Cinta” by Anis Matta for example. I dare to put it as the most triggering book for me, up to now, that can move me when I feel lazy or questioning on how to value life.

yes, I have to confess, that my intention to write a novel move me to read more books, in this case novels. My little bro ask me “How many novel you have read so far?” Then I count “Tetra logi laskar pelangi, kiki strike, negeri lima menara, ranah tiga warna, ayat-ayat cinta, dibawah mihrab cinta, and some others” so it is around 10 novels. He the shocked me with statements “To make a novel, you have to read 40 novels. Long way to go, Nu. Unless you just make a shallow novel if you do not have that long hours interacting with novels”

Okay, then I read the novels.

I got to go now, I am preparing for walking this morning with my husband. There is an even this Sunday in his office for the employee & fams. Hehehe, I am a wife now. gotto prepare breakfast 😀 Thanks for reading.

And I thank you guys, for still have willingness to read my post after a long periode of pause. Thanks for reading 😀 Have a good day guys 😀

Profesional itu..

Saya pernah berpikir, bahwa talenta atau kepintaran saja cukup untuk berkarya. Namun, ternyata tidak. Hasil diskusi saya dengan bro Mzia Anggiawan menghasilkan sebuah pemikiran baru di kepala saya

“Kompetensi atau keahlian dalam bidang tertentu tidak akan banyak berguna jika tidak professional. Bisa saja seorang mahasiswa sangat pintar namun tidak profesional mengatur waktu antara kuliah, organisasi dan hobi, mahasiswa itu telat mengumpulkan tugas semester akhirnya nilainya E.

Dan seorang yang pintar serta bagus manajerial waktunya belumlah dikatakan berguna banyak ketika ia belum kontributif. Apakah dia berguna bagi lingkungannya atau tidak.Apakah kehadirannya  memberi manfaat bagi sesama atau tidak. Atau apakah ada dan tidak adanya dia sama saja, tidak memeberi efek apa-apa.”

Diskusi dengan M Zia Anggiawan a.k.a my husband

. The notion above is also for me. Yeah, I’m still #learning though :D. As what Nouman Ali Khan says “Our religion doesn’t demand perfection but instead a manageable strive to better ourselves”

I like his notion “A manageable strive to better ourselves”

Thanks for reading, guys 🙂

😀 😀 😀


Berhenti sejenak
Melihat banyaknya janji-janji yang telah terbuat

Dalam diri berteriak “Aku tidak bisa memenuhi semua nya!!!”

Namun saat teringat Surat Al Baqarah ayat terakhir, sebuah suara berkata “Ingatkah kamu pesan dari ayat itu? Tuhanmu mengisyaratkan satu hal “Ya. Kamu bisa!!!” ”


Hari (puisi)

Mulai menapak hari
Ada anggun diam dan tenang
Tersenyum pada rendah hati

Ah, berhenti tidak bisa sekarang
Memang benar beda isi kepala
Beda memandang rasa

Semua beragam
Semua ada yang lebih ada yang kurang

Namun tak bijak
Jika tampilan luar
Yang terlihat oleh mata
Membiaskan subjektivitas kepala


Sombong itu..


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Dalam salah satu agenda tasqif kemarin ada yang membahas tentang sombong. Beliau menyatakan tentang perkara sombong.Bahwa “orang sombong tidak akan mau merasa ada yang lebih di atasnya” Including realizing that God exists.

Dalam hal ini setidaknya orang sombong tertutup atas dua hal.

Pertama, menutup diri dari kemudahan hidup. Ia tidak mau mengakui ada kekuasaan yang tak terbatas yang menguasainya dan paling tahu tentang dirinya yakni Allah Yang Maha Kuasa dan Maha Pencipta. Orang sombong menutup diri dari aturan penciptaNya sehingga hidupnya hanyalah berdasarkan trial dan error. Karena tak mau berpedoman pada manual yang disediakannya untuk berekplorasi dan berekspresi di alam ini. Padahal manual itu memudahkan karena disana terdapat aturan, anjuran, does and doesn’t, yang nota bene sesuai dengan bawaan kita sebagai manusia untuk bisa memanfaatkan isi bumi dan langit dengan sebaik-baiknya untuk kesejahteraan umat manusia dengan seadilnya dan sesantunnya.

Kedua, meremehkan orang lain. Orang sombong menutup diri dari kemungkinan mendapat ilmu lebih dari orang-orang sekitar. Padahal ilmu yang tersedia di dunia ini sangat banyak. Bahkan pada tukan laundry sekalipun terdapat ilmu yang tidak semua orang tahu. Misalkan cara mensetrika yang secepat kilat namun rapi.

Ya, tertutup dari ilmu. Miskin ilmu berarti miskin cara untuk survive di dunia dan di akhirat. Jika hanya punya sedikit tips dan info agar untuk hidup nyaman dan lapang di dunia, maka alamat sulit banyak hal. Terbentur ini dan terantuk itu. Karena ga mau belajar dari orang lain yang punya ilmu lebih. Wuisss..

. . .

Thanks for reading guys 😀

Tulisan diatas juga ditujukan untuk saya. Hehehe…
Semoga Allah lindungi kita dari kesombogan dan memantapkan kita untuk berhasil dunia akhirat 😀

In addition, kata hadist

“kesombongan itu adalah menolak kebenaran dan meremehkan orang lain”

Memakai baju bagus dan merasa senang dengan itu, tidak termasuk sombong ternyata. Hehe.. 🙂


ENFP and my interaction with Quran in Ramadan 1436


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This Ramadan is special for me. I learn a lot. I am trying to ponder my thought in doing it. You know, usually I did it merely for ritual. I read quran just to catch up with the target. And I the good news for this year is that I get used to know ustadz Nouman Ali Khan speech in video in you tube before the ramadan has been started.
From where to start? I’m an ENFP, and I know quite a lot if it. That I have the tendency of boredom quite high and as a debater I’m good in making rational excuse of mistake I did. Sometime overlook of what not good I have and merely focus on what good I have. Which in certain extend it is not good to do.

I ain’t make this piece of writing as a mourning. I make it to write down what is speaking in my head right now. Last night, I make dua to Allah to help me to be better. I tell him that I am an ENFP and I ask him to help me to deal with the bad sides of me. Sometimes, I cannot stick on the schedule because of the boredom that sip into my head. I have small –but immerse—strong intention in finishing big agendas in my life so far. I got awesome agendas done in my life so far. But they are only few of them. Few from the amount that I am actually capable in doing.
I am sure, in Quran, there is a way to help an ENFP as well. This morning I continue to read the juz 2. For my entire life- for the record, I’m 25 years old now- I only once finish reciting 30 juz of quran during Ramadan. And that is Ramadan 1436 H a.k.a this year in 2015.

In reading juz 2, I found an ayat which burst me in tears:

Fighting is prescribed for you, “ I tell to myself, perhaps this context is for war. Hm but if I take this ayat to my daily life and  I will say yes. Yes for fighting my laziness.

The ayat continue “and you dislike it” and I’m starting to take it serious about it and suspect that the next word are going to talk about the like and dislike which really become the basis of my attitude toward the world. I have been reading this Al Baqarah surat for several times and some of the continuation of the ayat I can predict. But not many of them, just small part of it. Oke, continue the ayat Nurul..

But it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and you know not.” Al Baqarah ayat 216. And I burst in tears…

It breaks the building of my fundamental paradigm. As an ENFP I do take like and dislike in doing things. No wonder you –if any of you know who I am in the real life- will see me really good in doing several things. Debating perhaps. And analyze things in critical way. Or speaking in English. Why I’m good at those? The answer is simple: because I like those things.

As human, dealing with things we like and things we don’t like is inevitable. This is thing that I don’t put into my mental dictionary. My rule is “I don’t like it. I don’t do it”. Now guys, you know why that Albaqarah ayat 216 makes me cry a river? yeah, it shook me up. Man, it really hit the ‘principle’ of my life.

Last several days, I got good quotes from Nouman Ali Khan videos. That is “You don’t need to compare your self with others. You need to compare your self to your self of yesterday” Which also hit my mind. I used to compare my achievement with other which in certain extend makes me depress. And Alhamdulillah Im free now. From a psychological ‘war’ I made my self in.

And in the next day, I listened to his video again. And this is wake me up as well. “When you work for something, the joy of it is so much more. Even if it is a mini skill. Even if it is insignificant.”. Which drives me into a conclusion : “Real happiness come from a lot of work”.

I got “the” ingredient of ENFP there in that very notion of NAK: happiness! That is the ultimate thing I want to live my life with. I want to live my life to the fullest, to the HAPPINESS (Caps lock means I really underline that word, hehe 😀 )

Then now I try to write down the logic

1. Happiness is what I am aim for in this word
2. Real happiness come from a lot of work
3. Like and dislike is inevitable in this world
4. I don’t like to work a lot if I don’t like it
5. It is possible the things I don’t like is good for me and that things that do like bad for me as what mention in Al Baqarah ayat 216

Next, I go to the conclution that my heart flutter to write it

Here we go in three.. two.. one

“The ONLY way for me to achieve my HAPPINESS to the fullest is to WORK A LOT regardless my attitude toward the work a lot I do. It is either I LIKE or DISLIKE it, I just need to GO because like and dislike can deceive me in such a way.”


Nurul Huda
West Sumatera
Ramadan 1436 day 16